I suck at being good, I suck at being there, just being there, its always about me, I’m fucked up, people are always out to get me, people never care about my feelings, I’m fucking crazy, I’m fucking phsyco. I need help, maybe. I have one person in this world I love so much and I’m pushing him away I have since the day we met, but maybe he doesn’t love me? shit there I go again. I just miss you steve fuck I miss you, I never realized how awesome you made this world till you left it, everyone is a mess we need you. I need you back because I don’t know how I can be strong for him he needs you.
I normally go into my conversations with a set of proven questions to ask, that I find will elicit a wide variety of anecdotes from people’s lives: happiest moment, saddest moment, things like that. But with people fleeing war, it is absolutely impossible to discuss anything beyond the present moment. Their circumstances are so overpowering, there is absolutely zero room in their minds for any other thoughts. The conversation immediately stalls, because any topic of conversation beyond their present despair seems grossly inappropriate. You realize that without physical security, no other layers of the human experience can exist.